The first words out of my mouth to you when I got home from work tonight were, "No, I need a minute." You wanted to play, I wanted decompress. And right now I'm sitting in the glider that still sits in your bedroom, quietly begging you to go to sleep as I write this. I almost hope you never read this, but then again, if you have kids...I hope you do.
Here it it, my confession: Being a parent is hard. Sometimes I cry in the shower. I lie to you. I'm not really as excited as you are to play guys. I'm scared of thunderstorms too. I think the medicine tastes yucky too. Shots hurts. I wish I could sleep in. I miss being able to go out. I really don't like dealing with wet sheets. I worry about money all the time. And Spongebob, yeah, he's annoying but he makes a great babysitter.
So....I feel like a horrible mommy tonight, but tomorrow when you open your sweet brown eyes, we both get a whole new day. We get a day where maybe I don't want to play guys but I sure do love watching your imagination at work. We get a day where you fall asleep holding my hand. We get a day where you see I'm a little sad so you give me a Briton cuddle that takes all the yuck out of the medicine and all the fear out of the storms.
Briton, I am not ever going to be perfect. But when I'm wrong, I'll say I'm sorry. When you're scared, I'll hold you tight. When you're brave, I'll encourage you. When you're sad, I'll wipe away your tears. And when your happy, I'll share in the joy. I'll cry a little bit at every stage, you went from baby to boy in a blink. I'm listening to your soft breathing now as you're drifting into sleep and I'm just so grateful for all you have taught me in humility and compassion.
You may not always get what you want but I promise, you'll always have what you need. You'll always get my heart.
As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.
Love,
Mommy
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